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I have a pretty strong wish fulfillment streak in my dream life. Apparently this extends to granting myself apologies that I feel I’m owed even when they spring from long ago and are not forthcoming in my waking life. This song recounts a dream apology that I was already questioning before I woke up … why now, eleven years later?

The dream reminded me of scattering cremation ashes, which I’ve done several times, and the fact that they rarely end up where you meant them to go, usually because of the wind. Nor do they disperse as you would have them do. I have this fantasy of being able to throw them up in the air in a stiff wind and simply having them disappear. They don’t. They land sooner than you would like and become part of the landscape. I want to learn to live with these bits of grief as part of my life’s landscape and not run from them or wish them to disappear. They take up much less space in my head that way.

At the heart of my music is a deep love for music I have heard in the Smoky Mountains, and Kenny Schick, my producer, captured that feel while giving it a progressive flavor. This song is a nod to Nashville and in many ways to my musical roots.

In addition to songwriting, lead vocals, and writing the harmony vocals, I played acoustic guitar and performed backing vocals on this song. Kenny Schick, my producer, also sang backing vocals and played or programmed all of the other instruments. Kenny recorded his parts at Basement3Productions in Nashville, Tennessee, and I recorded my acoustic guitar parts in March 2022 and my vocals in May 2022 with Steven Glaze at ToneFreq Studio in San Jose, California.